How to Care for a Parent with Dementia

If a loved one has recently been diagnosed with dementia, it may feel like your world has been upended. Your first priority is helping your mom or dad handle the emotions and anxieties they’re feeling, and addressing their needs for support. But you’ll probably also be concerned about your own ability to manage the responsibilities of caregiving.The following list can help prepare you with resources and caregiver tips to help you get your bearings after a dementia diagnosis.
Top 8 Tips for Dementia Caregivers
Step 1: Educate Yourself
Knowing what to expect will help you anticipate and prepare for the changes ahead. Seek out information from your parent’s doctor and from trusted online resources, such as the Alzheimer’s Association. Consider reading books about dementia — such as Elizabeth Landsverk’s “Living in the Moment: A Guide to Overcoming Challenges and Finding Moments of Joy in Alzheimer’s Disease and Other Dementias” — and sharing what you learn with your loved one. You’ll both benefit from learning that despite the significant changes dementia brings, it isn’t the end of hope and joy.
Step 2: Recognize Dementia’s Effect on Behavior
As you gather information about dementia and its progression, you’ll learn more about the changes in behavior and personality that are likely to occur. This will help prepare you, so you know how to respond appropriately — without taking challenging behaviors personally — and how to keep your mom or dad safe as their judgment and abilities diminish. Also, consider learning more about what dementia feels like to get deeper insights into your parent’s perspective.
Step 3: Respect Your Loved One’s Dignity
As dementia affects your parent’s abilities, it’s natural if you find yourself thinking of them as less than who they were before. It will benefit them — and you — to reframe that perception and think of them instead as being different. They may have changed from the person you’ve known all your life, but they retain an inherent dignity, the capacity for joy, and the ability to engage in meaningful activities. With this in mind, you can help them in the early stages of dementia feel more in control of their lives and maintain a sense of purpose by asking for their input. Ask questions such as:
- What brings them meaning?
- What new activities might you try together?
- What are their wishes regarding support as their dementia progresses?
- Would they like to connect with others who are living with dementia?
- What support do they need in order to begin making legal and financial arrangements for their future care?
Step 4: Look into Dementia Treatment Options
There is no cure for most types of dementia, but there are medications that can help treat symptoms. There are also strategies for managing challenging behaviors that can improve quality of life. Talk to your parent’s doctor or visit the Alzheimer’s Association website to get up-to-date information about treatment options.
Step 5: Create a Safe Environment for your Loved One
As your loved one’s judgment and abilities decline, they’ll become more likely to forget about the soup that’s warming on the stove, struggle with balance and mobility, or encounter other issues that make them more vulnerable to everyday dangers. Check smoke and carbon monoxide alarms to make sure they’re in good working order. Remove tripping hazards like throw rugs or electrical cords. Also, start a list of people or home care services that will make up your support network. Eventually, your loved one may not be safe if left alone for even a few minutes, and you’ll need a plan for ensuring they have round-the-clock support.
Step 6: Recognize the Toll Caregiving Can Take on You
Taking care of a loved one with dementia can be meaningful and rewarding, but you’ll also encounter daily challenges and stresses. Caring for a parent with dementia at home can be even more taxing on a caregiver. Taking frequent breaks from your caregiving duties, making time for enjoyable hobbies, talking to sympathetic friends, or finding a caregiver support group can help you avoid caregiver burnout.
Step 7: Plan for the Future
At some point, it’s likely that your loved one will need more support than you can give. That point is different for every family, but it helps to have a realistic understanding of the stages of dementia, so you know the level of care each requires.
- Early-stage dementia. Your loved one may be forgetful and have difficulty managing their schedule or budget, but still be able to live independently.
- Middle-stage dementia. Living alone may become dangerous as behavioral changes and cognitive decline make it more difficult for your loved one to safely tend to routine tasks such as cooking, grooming, and driving. Disorientation and confusion may lead to wandering and other unsafe behaviors.
- Late-stage dementia. There’s a severe decline in cognitive and physical abilities. Your loved one may have difficulty eating, walking, or tending to their most basic needs. They’re also vulnerable to infections like pneumonia.
It’s not comfortable to think about the progression of dementia, but it’s important to talk about it with your parent while they’re in the early stages. Consulting their wishes will help them feel more in control. It will also offer them — and you — peace of mind that their needs and wishes are being honored.
Step 8: Explore Long-Term Care Options
Look at the care options available in your community. These can include in-home caregiving from family, friends and home care services. Or you may research long-term care in a senior living community that offers assisted living and memory care.
- What is assisted living? This level of care is appropriate if your loved one is in the early to middle stages of dementia. Round-the-clock staff are available to offer support with activities of daily living (ADLs), such as dressing, grooming and medication management. Inviting, maintenance-free residences and a flexible dining plan provide a comfortable environment and nourishing meals. Scheduled transportation is available, and a community of friends and a full calendar of activities ensure your parent will be engaged and active.
- What is memory care? Ideal for people in the middle to late stages of dementia, in a memory care community, staff are specially trained in dementia care. A simplified floor plan and calming atmosphere create a soothing, comfortable environment. And personalized care ensures that your loved one can engage in the activities that bring them satisfaction and joy.
Get Dementia Support at The Ridge
If you’re grappling with a loved one’s dementia diagnosis, you can find the support you need at The Ridge. Monthly support groups provide guidance and encouragement to caregivers, while innovative programming — such as MUSIC & MEMORY® and Teepa Snow Positive Approach® — honors each memory care resident’s unique story and inherent dignity. Contact us to learn more about assisted living and memory care at The Ridge or to schedule a visit.